


Wired

by angelofgrief



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-04-16
Updated: 2013-04-16
Packaged: 2017-12-08 15:35:09
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 661
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/763035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/angelofgrief/pseuds/angelofgrief
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The hallucinations are gone, so why is Sam wired sometimes?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Wired

**Author's Note:**

> Takes place after season 7, episode 17— can be considered AU but it's just another "what if" scenerio

Sometimes, Dean can see it.

After Cas took the crazy from Sam, he got better. He can't say the same about Castiel, however. But that's a whole different topic altogether. What he sees, sometimes, is the twitch Sam gets sometimes. It's near the corner of his right eyebrow. It twitches sometimes, like he's seeing something but hearing something or just _feels_ like something doesn't belong. It usually happens whenever he's on his freaking laptop or eating sometimes. Maybe he twitches in the car but Dean can't tell— he can only see the left side of his face (even the rear mirrors don't help much).

Dean can hear it too.

Last at night, after another hunt, another life saved, another life taken, he'll hear scratching. It's dull and quiet, like it's forced (and it probably is). Most of the time, the scratching noise comes from Sam scratching at the bed sheets, the pillows, his pants, his shirts, never his skin. On rare occasions, he'll hear the sound of skin being scratched. Sometimes, it's his face, underneath his jawline where it could be obscured, or the back of his elbow, sometimes the inside of his palm (always the left palm, never the right).

On those nights, the nights where he'll scratch at his skin and twitch more than usual, Dean can feel it.

Anxiety, fear, panic, hopelessness, and sometimes, emptiness.

On those nights, Dean gets up from his bed. He walks over to his brother's bed as quietly as possible and he slips in the covers. Most of the time, Sam could feel it and he tries to sleep against the hands on his face, holding him steady and stroking his cheek. When that doesn't happen, his eyes blink open wide and hard and his hands automatically stop and grab Dean's forearms. His eyes go wired, like Dean's not real (and he wasn't at one point in his mind and that killed him), and he'll try to break skin, he'll try to squeeze the blood out of him. If it bleeds, it's real.

Dean'll stare back, hands still on his face, and wait for the wired to slip away and his eyes to droop down to normal. When it happens, he leans forward and rests his forehead against Sam's, eyes closed.

And he waits.

"Sorry..."

Sam always says that after a moment. Dean can tell, even with his eyes closed, that Sam doesn't mean it— not yet anyway. He still thinks he's unreal, that Satan's going to pop up and destory the image that he sees now. Dean doesn't answer back— he's learned that answering back too quickly pulls Sam back into the abyss and he's doesn't want that to happen. Sam's body is relaxing, no longer wired but he's waiting for an answer; he can tell by the way Sam's hands move up to hold his face.

"I'm real, Sammy and I'm right here," Dean doesn't smile, not until he knows Sam'll believe him.

He does open his eyes however and Sam sees and Sam believes. He leans in to barely scrape the surface of his lips— it's okay, Sam knows how to get more from him anyway. But he stops there and Dean's fine with it; it's been a long day. Dean slowly slips his hands down his face but Sam's right there, grabbing one already and pushing it against his lips. Dean likes to believe that he's whispering things about him, about what happened today, about what he saw, against his hands as oppose to praying.

They fall asleep that night, as soundless as can be. The moon was out, lighting their room with the tiniest glimpses and the crickets and cicadas of the summer played off one another. Dean wakes up again, just vaguely hearing the sound of scratching. He looks and it's not scratching he hears at all. It's just Sam rubbing his thumb across the knuckles of his hand.

It's Sam getting used to his older brother.


End file.
